Monday, 4 June 2018

SM and the Single Male

NOTE: As this is a list of my sexual partners, I do not know what number
to give a post that deals with SM and a single male.

With SM’s approval and encouragement, I have played with 4 women one on one since we began swinging.  Each was a unique encounter: two I have already recounted and the most recent was the Unicorn (#38) from my post on mentoring. What was unique about this encounter was that it coincided with SM’s first Single Male encounter.

We had arranged to meet the unicorn, let’s call her Jennifer, at Obsession Swinger’s Club in Ottawa, Canada for a night of fun. It was a Friday night, where single men are permitted entry. On this night, attendance by the type of couples who would normally catch our eye is limited and we had no expectation of adding to our threesome. 
Jennifer and I have a special bond where, to be a bit arrogant, I am everything she is looking for in a man: To her, I am tall, confident, a dominant in the bedroom, a fervent support of woman’s rights, educated and just a bit childish/boyish in my approach to life. She enjoys SM immensely, but is also happy to have me to herself. Similarly, SM enjoys a MFF threesome as much as any swinger, but I think she is tiring of it, as we have had several in the last few months. With all of this going on, SM joked that she may find herself a single male during our Friday visit. I told her she had my permission and encouragement; however, I have heard this statement before and nothing happened.

When we made it to the club, things were not looking good for SM. There were a few couples there, but none were appealing. The handful of single men failed to catch her attention as well. As the night wore on, SM caught sight of a single guy who piqued her interest. He was a dark skinned Dominican immigrant who had soft features and a shy demeanour. It took a bit of prodding to get SM to approach him – she was far and away the best looking woman in the club, but still fears rejection – but she finally did. They exchanged a few words at the bar and moved to the dancefloor.

Jennifer and I moved away from the dancefloor area to the upper lounge with couches so as not to crowd SM or spook her prey. It was painfully funny watching SM and the Dominican. He was a perfect gentleman, his hands moved to her waist, no lower. Poor Sm had to make all the moves, but once initiated, they were readily reciprocated.  He was just new to the swinger scene. After about two songs, SM headed towards the back playrooms – leaving Jennifer and I to catch up. It turned out, she thought we had already gone in back and was just catching up with us – or so she thought. Once in back, SM playfully dismissed me to go find my own bed with my unicorn. Though it was a playful dismissal, it was actually to let Jennifer and I have a bit of one on one fun, not spook her new toy and so Jennifer would not feel unsure of the rules with a new guy in the mix – we had not established a four way connection.

Jennifer and I had a deeply sexual/sensual/spiritual time together. Most of our fucking was in versions of the missionary position as she wanted to kiss me deeply and frequently. We wasted little time on foreplay, but fucked long – alternating fast and slow – and deeply. She squirted as I thrust into her, soaking the bed and showering my cock, abdomen, balls and thighs in her moisture. As for SM (as recounted later that night), her man licked her long and thoroughly to the point that when she directed him to insert his fingers into her, she squirted all over him. He then proceeded to fuck her in numerous positions with a high tempo – “banging her thoroughly” as she said.

The only down side to the entire encounter is the return to our vanilla lives.  Today, we will both be asked “how was your weekend” and all we can say is “it was fine.” What we really want to say is: “I fucked a single lady until she panted my name in delirious ecstasy while SM was fucked into temporary paralysis by an eager lover ten years her junior. How was yours?”


Mr. No Name

Wednesday, 9 May 2018

#18: Morality in Swinging: The Unicorn’s Husband

I may have mentioned in my introduction that I used to run a Blog under the title “What’s in a Name.” While writing this Blog, I got to know several of my readers very well through e-mail and in a few cases, in person. These meeting were the highlight of my time writing. One such encounter was to become my 18th lover, Ariel.

Ariel was a submissive who was trying to turn her husband into the Dom she needed. I encouraged her and, from afar, served as a surrogate Dom. It was a mutually beneficial relationship. Everything was fine until we met. The connection between us was electric and we knew the relationship was going to turn sexual if we spent any time together. The issue was her husband; he was not supportive of her playing outside their marriage.

The situation lasted for about three months at which point she told her husband she was going out to a swingers club with SM and I. We attended club M4 with Ariel and ended up in a threesome. I do not know how he reacted to this info, nor do I knew what they even discussed what happen.  I believe it was a case of deliberate ignorance on her part.

Ariel and I play again, and alone on two other occasions. These were changes for both of us to explore my domination and her submission. We experienced, slapping (face, ass and pussy) choking, gagging, kneeling cock worshiping, but plug (with tail) and many other ‘firsts” for me and desires for her. Her submission was intoxicating for me. The power and responsibility was incredibly empowering and humbling. 

We moved away and our relationship began to deteriorate. As strange as it sounds, the deterioration of our relationship was a good thing. As we grew apart, she and her husband seemed to grow closer. I know only follow her Tumblr and Facebook. Facebook tells me she is engrossed in her role as a mother and wife, while Tumblr shows me she still craves D/s but does not have a release.

I often feel I should be bothered by the fact that I knowingly fucked a woman who was cheating on her husband. I feel that I should be disgusted with myself and that this, somehow, breaks some rule of swinging.  In reality, I feel happy that I was with her, glad that I could give her a D/s experience and indifferent to the feelings of her husband.  Does this make me a bas winger?


Mr. No Name

Monday, 30 April 2018

#17: After the First Fuck….

SM and I don’t do the ‘typical’ swinger dating thing.  We do not belong to any of the swinger sites (SDC, AFF, etc) and we do not go on dates with other couples. Our lives are too busy and SM loves dancing too much.  What we do is head to our local club, or more recently house parties, where we dance, talk, dance some more and if we make a connection, we transition straight to playtime. This has been our approach with a few exceptions.  I would go on about our rationale, but I think you get the point.

The downside to this approach is that we are occasionally left in a position where we realizer after fucking a couple that we do not particularly enjoy their company in any other setting.  This is what happened with Kyle and Moira. We met them as the Ozone Club in Toronto, Canada. I was attracted to her very fleshy curves. Some would argue that she was overweight; I don’t care, I love women with curves. He had an English accent that made SM wet just listening to him. We danced for about an hour and then invited them into the back to play. They happily accepted and we had a fun time fucking.

The problem occurred the next time we met.  We greeted them with warm kisses and proceeded into small talk.  That is when we realized they were petty, gossipy, ‘lowbrow’ people. SM and I have friends and playmates from all walks of life, but these people had an inherently negative view of the world and we just cannot get behind that. It made for an awkward night; however, we were lucky enough to transition into conversation with other people and move on. We played with them one more time, but the magic was gone.

I admit that I do suffer from A.D.D when it comes to play partners. I enjoy variety and, with a few exception, would rather play with a new partner than ones we have played with in the past. Few lovers fuck me like SM does, so as a result, the thrill is in the hunt more than the conquest. That is likely a post for another time.

Mr. No Name

Wednesday, 25 April 2018

#16: Where I am Reminded of the Joys of Soft Swap

As you will see from our swinging history, SM and I jumped into the ‘deep end’ of swinging pretty early.  We alternated between Soft Swap or Full Swap depending on the level of comfort of our partners rather than any rule we had in place.  I guess what I am saying is that our path to swingerdom was not the linear path many couples followed.  It worked for us, but we do not recommend it for many. My 16th lover reminded me of the joys of Soft Swap and is the first soft swap I recorded as a sex partner.  More on that later

We met Rich and Eileen at the Ozone Club in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. It is a beautiful club with gracious hosts in the form of Matt and Amanda. They made us feel welcome and introduced us to several of the regulars. As the night progressed, we began talking with Rich and Eileen. We hit it off immediately and there was lots of talking and touching. We shared our experiences, with SM and I doing most of the talking. I guess we came across as a little too experienced because, when I asked them if they would like to join us in the back, Eileen said: “We would love to but we are only Soft Swap.”

I was actually a little heartbroken.  Not that they were soft swap, but that I had left the impression that full swap was requirement. SM and I quickly corrected that notion and they were onboard for some playtime.  Eileen looked so happy that I latterly threw her over my shoulder and carried her into the backroom. Once in the backroom, we did everything possible less Penis in Vagina sex. It was one of our best experiences to date and left me questioning what a sex partner was.

From this time forward, I consider a sex partner to be one who is intent on giving and receiving an orgasm with me. This differs from some soft swap scenarios where the couples soft swap for a bit then return to primary partners for sex.  This is fun and I enjoy it, but I do not consider it a sexual partner. I guess you could say I am selfish and say that a sex partner is the one who gives me the orgasm, but that is not necessarily the case.

Take this past weekend for example, where I had four sexual partners, but only two orgasms. We were at a house part thrown by the Host Couple mentioned in #37 and attended by two unicorns:  Veronique (#32) and Jackie (unnamed in #38) as well as 11 other couples. Jackie and I reconnected quickly and passionately. By about 11 PM, less than an hour after arriving, Jackie and I could not hold back. We invited Sm to join us, but she was dancing and flirting with new couples and wished us well. I laid Jackie down in the dining room converted to playroom and we had a great, albeit short playtime – 100% my fault as she manoeuvered her body in ways that brought me to a climax in record time.

 After our brief playtime, we decided to socialize a bit. But within another hour, we were in a dark corner again going at it. While I did not orgasm, Jackie’s knees gave way with a shuddering orgasm. By this time it was about 1230 AM and Jackie was ready to go home and tuck herself in bed.  I kissed her goodnight and sought out SM on the living room / dancefloor where I found her in the middle of three couples and a unicorn. They were ready to move upstairs to the other playroom.

The upstairs playroom had two single beds and 9 people, space was at a premium. SM paired off with a couple she met and was interested in. I paired off with the hostess and Veronique. I spend the next 30 to 45 minutes alternating fucking the two ladies while they went down on each other. In the end, the hostess nearly brought me to orgasm with her luscious lips, but it was just too soon for a second orgasm of the night.

After this mass orgy, SM and I said our goodbyes, which took considerable time given the number of people involved, and headed home. The night ended as most of our nights do with SM and I reconnecting over some home-sex. My second orgasm of the night and my fourth sexual partner of the night. So, as I said, I consider a sexual partner someone who intended to share an orgasm with me – regardless of whether or not I actually achieved an orgasm and regardless of the mechanism used to bring me to (or attempt to bring me to) orgasm. Let me know your thoughts of a sexual partner in the comments.

Mr. No Name



Tuesday, 17 April 2018

#15, #29 & #31: Sexual Preferences Versus Phobias


            SM and I began swinging in Miami, which, unlike the rest of Florida, is a very diverse city. Despite this diversity, I found that I was sexually attracted to Caucasian and Latino cisgendered women exclusively.  SM on the other hand was attracted to both sexes and all races. This sexual preference led me to examine my views on race and tolerance. I have no racial, sexual or gender prejudices in my vanilla life and was concerned for a while that my sexual preferences were a by-product of some lingering intolerance. After some self-reflection, I came to a few conclusions:


  1. I did not find black-women sexually attracting. I could recognize the beauty they possessed, but did not want to fuck them. More on this later.
  2. I was intolerant to those cultures that did not, in my world view, accept women as equals. This oppression is most often expressed though religion and the control of women’s clothing and bodies. When your religion allows a man to wear shorts and a t-shirt and she must be covered head to toe, I consider your religion to be intolerant. As such, I cannot trust in a swinging scenario that she is participating of her own free will. As such, I was not sexually attracted to women of middle-east descent sexually desirable.
  3. I was not transphobic or homophobic, but the idea of playing with anyone who was not genetically female was not appealing to me. I felt bad for bisexual men in the swinger world as their bisexuality is not tolerated to the same degree as female bisexuality. More on transphobia later.
  4. Despite the fetish, I never found Asian women to be sexually desirable. What I have come to realize is that I live women with round asses and full breasts, a trait not generally associated with women of Asian descent.


This apparent mismatch between my core belief in equality and my apparently intolerant sexual preferences would bother me for some time. The walls first crumbled with our 15th lover, Ron and Tanya. Ron and Tanya were a black couple from Miami and my first real experience outside my ‘comfort zone.’ From playing with them, I realized the cultural aspects that were preventing me from enjoying new sexual adventures. First, the black couples we had met to this point were led by men who wanted to experience more sexual variety with their spouse’s permission. While this is a gross oversimplification, it describes my swinger interaction with black women – they were reluctant participants.


Ron and Tanya were unlike any we had met.  They were deeply in love, unabashedly affectionate with each other and clear in their desire to get to know SM and me better. In the end, I realized that what I need is excitement and energy form my play partner as well as confidence in the sanctity of their relationship. If I get any impression that she is less than a highly willing participant in the adventure, I lose all sexual attraction. This has resulted in limited opportunities with Slavic or Baltic women as, culturally, many of them defer to their partner and do not provide me with the level of sexual energy I need. I apologize if this is a gross oversimplification.


Our 31st lover held a special place in my…ummm…heart. In my younger days, I worked in Bosnia and Croatia and fell in love with the tall, shapely women of that region. You see, I am 6’3” (190cm) and rarely encounter women of my height. When I do, I am instantly aroused. My experience with Slavic and Baltic women, was tainted by the men they were associated with. These men were, IMHO, controlling, domineering and possessive. However, when we met Kiki and Peter in Edmonton, Alberta, we hit it off immediately. There was some language issues, but it was clear they were in love and were anxious to get to know SM and me. In all honesty, I think we talked for about 20 minutes before we were in the back area playing. Kiki and I were all over each other. She was about 3 inches taller than Peter and enjoyed a lover who made her, at 5’11” feel small and sheltered. I was in a seated position and Kiki was straddling me. With my cock buried in her, we were face to face. After riding me near to the point of no return, Kiki took her hands from behind my neck, dug them into my chest and rubbed them in circles saying, in her broken English, “So Big.” To this day, “So Big” is an inside joke between SM and I.


The final lover, who brought down all my walls was Mary, our 29th lover. We met Mary at a swingers club in Edmonton, Alberta and I was instantly attracted to her long legs. With 2 inch heels, she was an inch taller than me. I loved the fact that she made no attempt to hide her height. I approached her while SM was off talking to mutual acquaintances. She was hesitant, yet eager. It confused me at first. I chalked it up to her either seeing me as a single male or concerned that SM would not agree with my pick. When SM returned from the restroom, she and Mary hit it off.


Mary excused herself to go to the restroom and SM looked at me and said, Mary is not a biological woman. I was floored. It could not be. She was shapely, erotic and everything I desired in a woman. When Mary returned, I looked for the clues and had a hard time recognizing them. I was in lust, how could this be. I was touching her on the leg and she was responding like every woman I had been with. I excused myself to use the rest room and when I came back, SM told me, with Mary in tow, that she was right and I would play with the ‘top half’ and SM would play with the ‘bottom half.’  She read my attraction right. The walls were coming down.


I don’t know the proper terminology, but Mary had large shapely breasts, but still had a penis. I was inwardly concerned that this was going to be a huge turnoff for me. However, I could not reconcile this anticipated turn-off with the sensuality she possessed that was turning me on.  When she undressed, I was in heaven staring at her gorgeous breasts (implants, obviously), the slight curve of her hips and high and tight ass. When I saw her penis, I was neither aroused, nor was I turned off. 


While making out with Mary and watching SM ride her, it hit me like a proverbial ton of bricks, I was attracted to Mary. Her genitals happened to be a penis, but she was a woman and I desired her...full stop. She was a woman with a dick, not a man with tits.  I know this is obvious to many, but to me it was an epiphany which enabled me to reconcile my complete lack of homosexual/bisexual desires with my lust for this woman. With that realization out of the way, I did what I do with all lovers, and touched her genitals and fucked her. It was marvellous. While I did not suck her penis, I am confident that I could have. Not from a desire to suck dick, but from a desire to pleasure my sexual partner.

So, there you have it dear reader, I no longer have any sexual hang-ups…except that my partner must identify as a woman, have a shape I like, and most of all, be desirous of my attention and actively reciprocate. I don’t think that is too much to ask in the end.


Mr. No Name

Wednesday, 11 April 2018

#14: Exhibitionism

SM and I began swinging out of a desire to be exhibitionists. We had heard of Hedonism from a vanilla acquaintance and were intrigued by the idea that there was a play that we could have sexy in a public place surrounded by like-minded individuals and free from persecution and prosecution. While Hedonism has yet to happen, it led us to discover Swingers clubs. While living in Miami, Miami Velvet (Google it, it is amazing) became our regular haunt.  It is here that we met Lisa and Gilbert, who would become regular play partners. In Lisa and Gilbert, we found our equals when it came to exhibitionism. Together, we explored 6somes, 8somes, gagging, choking, MMF, FFM, and a host of things I do not know the name for – always in an open area for a gathered crowd to watch. I would like to recount my favourite exhibitionist moment.

Miami velvet has a raised stage adjacent to the dancefloor, often used for special events (pole dance competitions, etc). When not in use, it is lined with seating that can be used by the patrons. See below for images.


The stage can just be seen on the left side of this photo

The Stage proper with seating along the back


On the night in question, SM, Lisa, Gilbert and I were relaxing on the elevated couches and enjoying each other’ company. Now is probably a good time to mention that I am a passionate lover, especially in the early stages of a relationship. I have little restraint and tend to make out with a new partner like a high school boy – but with better technique. Lisa responded well to this approach and we were quickly into heavy petting. After a few moments, Lisa moves off the couch and on to her knees between my legs.  She undid my pants, removed my cock and began sucking it deeply and with a lot of spit – just how I love a blowjob. Her positioning and my burgeoning erection made my pants uncomfortable, so when she stopped to breathe, I stood up. Lisa took this as a challenge and re-attacked with vigour. While I like to devote my full attention to my partner, I became aware of the fact that we were in the main part of the club and the dancefloor was packed.  I took a moment and looked up at the assembled crowd.  This is what I saw.


While not an actual picture from the night in question, it is indicative of the view from a stage on a busy night.


The thought of around 200 sexy swingers watching the show we were putting on might have been enough to make some blanche, but for Lisa and I it was fuel on our fire.  We continued to put on our show. I had planned to stop soon so as to save my orgasm for later that night, but there was no turning back now. The crowd was into it, I was in ecstasy and Lisa was loving putting on a show. We followed the blowjob to its natural conclusion with Lisa swallowing my seed after making a show of long tendrils of cum stretching from my cock to her mouth and down her chin. I was vaguely aware of a smattering of applause as my knees buckled under sensory overload.

To this day, when we get the orientation tour of a swingers club and we are told that sexual activity is restricted to the back area, I cannot help by remember that moment and feel a little pang of disappointment.

Mr. No Name

Monday, 26 March 2018

#32, #36, and #38 - On Mentoring

“Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction.” — John Crosby

This past weekend the list grew to 38 and I will cover that encounter in the fullness of time. Today, I wanted to say a few words on mentorship. I work in a field that relies heavily on mentorship to grow the leaders of tomorrow. We are so adept at it that we are sought out for our mentorship program separate from our core business. In my work life, I invest my time heavily in mentoring those subordinate to me; therefore, it is only natural that it would bleed over into my personal life. In this case, I am talking about Veronique, my 32nd sexual partner.

We met Veronique about 4 months ago when she attended an event at our local Swinger’s Club. It was during a chance encounter at the bar that we found out it was her first time ever at a Swingers Club and she had no experience or point of reference for swinging.  She knew it was a kinky sex club and she wanted excitement after her divorce. I invited her to talk with SM and I. Conversation revealed she was there alone, had spent most of the night alone (it was approaching 12 AM) and had only the vaguest notion of how things worked.  We gave her a crash course in Swinging dynamics and lingo.

During this conversation, she revealed that she had led a very vanilla life (now that she knew the tern to use) and was wanting more. She wanted to explore her bisexuality as well. This was a perfect cue for SM to offer her the opportunity. After bit of light petting in the front of the club, we asked Veronique to join us in the back to participate at her own pace / comfort level. The night ended with an awesome threesome, the highlight of which was fucking Veronique doggie style while she went down on SM.

The story could have ended here, but after popping her swinger cherry, we felt a moral obligation to continue to help her navigate the muddied swinger waters. We knew she had a lot to learn when she emailed us from her work account to thank us for a great first time. Since that time, we have played with her and a boy-toy she brought to the club (#36). This encounter was a lesson in boundaries for her. She and her boy-toy had to decide on their level of comfort playing considering this was what amounted to a first date for them. In the end, we played as a 4 / 6 some (a story for another day) and her relationship ended.

To round out her education, we brought her to a house-party this last weekend. Before attending, I laid out the basic ground rules as I saw them. 1) She was always free to play with SM and I and any partners we may end up with, so long as she had their permission (who in their right mind would deny a cute little French unicorn???), and 2) she was free to play with whomever she hooked up with, without fear of ‘hurting’ SM and I. After introducing her to a few people and her meeting a few others she had met previously, I lost track of Veronique. When I found her next, she was being eaten out by a gentleman while kissing and fondling another woman (not the gentleman’s spouse). I caught her eye, gave her a big smile and moved on.

SM and I moved on to what would become a bucket list item for me. We played with the other Unicorn at the party. The interesting thing was that this woman was 6”1’ without heels and a full 6”3’ with heels. With heels, I looked her straight in the eyes and did not have to bend in the slightest to kiss her. This was a first for me and it left me as giddy as a school girl.

Lest you think me too arrogant (something I am often accused of), I am not without my own mentors. I will not mention the early ones, as I will cover them as I discuss our swinging encounters. However, my most recent mentor is a gentleman who goes by the title of Southern Swinger (SS). I cannot link to his old Blog from this computer, but he and I have begun an email correspondence. SS is a wealth of knowledge and has helped me in managing feelings of rejection, dealing out rejection and dealing with drunk swingers. If you do not have a mentor in this grand adventure we call swinging, I encourage you to find one.  I am always happy to give advice and guidance, but nothing beats a true mentor.


Mr. No Name

SM and the Single Male

NOTE: As this is a list of my sexual partners, I do not know what number to give a post that deals with SM and a single male. With ...